Airport Easy_Pass kit.

I have seen a possible business opportunity. After learning that the NY bomber and the underwear bomber were able to pass through airport security without being stopped or checked I figure Americans can use this new product to speed their own travel.

 The Easy_Pass Airport Kit:

– Includes one weathered Koran to make you look like a true believer

 – padded underwear provides the suggestion of an explosive package

– Sandals made from the recycled package of C-4 explosives.

The kit also includes a disguise that will help you appear as a young male of the Islamic faith, who would be easily offended. The disguise will include bold menacing eyebrows to intimidate racist screeners.

Why not get the same quick treatment airport screeners give possible terrorists? Order your kit now and we will upgrade your C-4 sandals to new canvas tennis shoes that have a fuse coming out of the heel.

Call Today!

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28 Responses to Airport Easy_Pass kit.

  1. hittosan says:

    Hah, I got a good laugh out of that.

    But wait, there’s more. Act now and get a bomb-turban, sure to be a blast at your next party and guaranteed to get you a bunch of virgins.

    • polarbear20 says:

      I added you as an author on the Cleveland Foxers page too. You should be able to make new posts here now.

  2. polarbear20 says:

    Always the capitalist I see. 😉

    Anyway, sign me up for one. I could use some help getting through the airport faster. Would you believe a ton of piercings and metal detectors don’t get along too well? 😀

  3. therealgirlscout says:

    I’ll order one of those, too. I’m so tired of security tearing apart my carry-on, taking the lens off my camera (NOT good for the mirror inside!), making me open up all my camera equipment and generally wasting 15 minutes of my time. thank God I pack my tripod in the checked-in luggage, or they’d probably think it was a partially assembled rifle!

    • polarbear20 says:

      Girlscout wins the post!! I thought my piercing vs. metal detector comment would be the biggest airport incident. Not so. I can’t believe they hassle you over a camera so much. They should at least wait until someone tries to blow up a plane using a camera!! Doubt that could happen.

  4. therealgirlscout says:

    And another thing! This guy was on the “no fly” list. So can someone explain to me how the HELL he got on the plane in the first place??!!!

    • HybridTalk says:

      Easy. No profiling alowed!!! Even though we know that Islamic Jihadists have declared war on us and have attacked us many times over the last ten years, Policital Correctness tells us it is better to lose another life than to offend our enemies.

      • hittosan says:

        Not quite. Even though this guy was on the no-fly list, everything was last minuet. He was added to the no-fly list until that day, and then he bought the ticket last minuet with cash. The plane was about ready to fly, so the authorities got lucky in catching this guy. He exploited a hole in the system, intentionally or not. Now it is up to the government or the airlines to shore up the hole.

      • polarbear20 says:

        Profiling is a load of crap. Need I remind you of one person, RICHARD REED!! That’s right, the shoe bomber. Now I’m sure if anyone was going down the list of passengers looking for “Muslimey” sounding names, Richard Reed would be the last one to expect as a “terrerist”. In fact, he sounds like a good little christen jock boy!! lol

  5. Princess says:

    oh boo effin hoo, some “towelhead” (that was just for you PB) doesn’t want to be “profiled”……………..who gives a damn? the bigger picture is to PROTECT AMERICANS…i repeat PROTECT AMERICANS.

    i will never understand why people just don’t get that.

    • polarbear20 says:

      Always nice to hear from you, Princess!!

      No, I don’t think we should “protect Americans”. I think we should protect EVERYONE who is on a flight, national, international, whatever.

      You can discriminate all you want, but that doesn’t change the fact that RICHARD REED would still have been allowed on the plane to set his shoes on fire.

  6. Princess says:

    again PB you are staring at the little picture instead of looking at the BIG one.
    who gives a CRAP about richard reed? blah blah blah
    and frankly, i don’t give a CRAP (and neither does MOST of america) who feels bad about being “profiled” wah wah wah
    we want to be SAFE, we want to NEVER EVER be attacked again.
    we want our GOVERNMENT to protect us (it doesn’t, not by a LONG shot)

    • polarbear20 says:

      First of app, ppl DO five a CRAP about being profiled. It’s mostly the ones who are being profiled that do. Of course an old white lady wouldn’t care!! I give a CRAP about peole being profiled. It’s all about how much FREEDOM you’re willing to give up for SECURITY, and I’m not willing to give up my FREEDOMS for a false sense of security.

      “Never ever” be attacked again. You might as well try to make sure people never ever die while you’re at it. Luckily now we have a professional president with people under him who have stopped these attacks, unlike Mr. Bushie Tushie, who was caught with his pants down. “Pants on the ground pants on the ground, lookin like a fool on 9-11 with yo pants on the ground!!”

      ..>And sitting there for SEVEN minutes!! LMMFAO

  7. Princess says:

    the ONE and ONLY way to put a stop to the danger of some islamic muslim terrorist and their STUPIDNESS is to SLAUGHTER each & every one of them.
    if they’re dead, we’re safe. that’s the only way for US to be safe.
    and again, MOST Americans don’t give a CRAP how some “alien” feels about it. if they don’t like being “profiled” then stay HOME.

    • polarbear20 says:

      Some “alien”? That’s how you refer to a person who has become a US citizen? Quite frankly it disturbs me that people can have such a callous attitude towards other human beings. Remember, forget about these arbitrary “nationalities” and made up races, we are all of the same race, THE HUMAN RACE!!

      Yes, we need to stop the terrorists, but that must not be limited to terrorists of Middle Eastern descent only.

  8. Princess says:

    no PB, you know exactly what i am referring to……a non US citizen that is in this country ILLEGALLY………….and ANY (i repeat ANY) person who is NOT a US Citizen that could possibly be coming here to KILL AMERICANS!!! (and if that includes profiling, it does.)
    i couldn’t care LESS if some officer asks me for an ID……..i HAVE one.
    why in the world are you & people like you more interested in the “rights” (gag!) of some ALIEN while they are here ILLEGALLY? did THEIR ancestors fight for OUR freedoms? are THEY sending their sons and daughters to war on OUR behalf?
    and again, all MOST of us are interested in is SAFETY…………..ask around PB, see if people put the priority on SAFETY over your “rights” baloney.
    i remind you RIGHTS as a US CITIZEN are afforded ONLY to US CITIZENS………
    go to Mexico & call attention to yourself somehow……….see if they are interested in your RIGHTS…………….LMAO

    • polarbear20 says:

      Oh Jesus H. Christ, here we go with this shit again. This goes all the way back to the old FAUX site where someone suggested that the migrant workers who are here less than legally are gonna “rape and kill white women”. The people happy to have a job picking strawberries are not these killer murderer people who want to harm “Americans”.

      This is not a police state, I do not have to “prove” anything to anyone. And it pisses me off that we are devolving into a police state. What if they are a LEGAL, first generation citizen? Are you gonna still complain how their “ancestors fought for our freedom”??

      It’s funny you say “fought for freedom” when really it’s these WASP people who think they own this country, yet THEY were the original ILLEGAL ALIENS who stole it from the Native Americans.

      EXACTLY!! Thank you for mentioning Mexico. They have a terribly corrupt, out of control police system. They don’t care about rights, and that’s WRONG!!

  9. therealgirlscout says:

    Let’s slaughter every last one of them!! What a lovely, Christian thought.

    • polarbear20 says:

      I know Girlscout, aren’t Christens great?? SLAUGHTER every one of them. BOMB an abortion clinic. SHOOT an abortion doctor. TEABAG the government. LYNCH a person of color. March around with GUNS when the President is speaking.

      What would Jesus do? Obviously he’d SLAUGHTER, BOMB, SHOOT, LYNCH and TEABAG all while carrying his guns. 😉 Or at least that’s what I read in the bible I got at the NASCAR show!! 😀

  10. Princess says:

    wow, twist twist twist you guys! my goodness.
    first, i never said the mexicans would rape, etc the women. that’s ridiculous.
    but, if we don’t secure our borders (ALL of them), then we are going to have terrorists sneaking into this country (oh wait! they are already here!)…………..
    and no, you are right girly, it’s not a christian thought……….but something tells me turning the other cheek only gets one blown up with those terrorists.
    this world has turned into a kill or be killed world, no matter how much you guys whine about the kum by ya silliness……….it’s not REALITY.
    the only way to STOP these terrorists from killing US is to slaughter THEM.
    and btw, if one would actually READ the old testament, one would find out that there WERE slaughters and such. BY GOD, FOR GOD, etc.
    but, of course, the Old Testament is just a history book now isn’t it? LMAO

    • polarbear20 says:

      SIGH!! You righties always say us Liberals like to whine and play the victim, but here you go!!

      No, you didn’t say “Mexicans would rape and murder”, but you sure implied it. “Terrorists” are not gonna sneak into the US from Mexico. Mexico isn’t the Middle East. The only “problems” with Mexico are the people entering, who are usually poor migrant workers. Yet the racist piggies in border towns try to paint all the people entering as the “dangerous drug thugs” that are a minority.

      But it doesn’t have to be that way. One of the biggest things we could do to alleviate this problem is GET THE FUCK OUT OF IRAQ and AFGHANISTAN. Nothing pisses people off more than when you invade, occupy and bomb their country, and then DON’T LEAVE!! I applaud President Obama for trying something new and crazy by actually TALKING to the Muslim world, as if they are people. But all that talking is for nothing if he continues Bush’s course of failures in the Middle East. We still need to END THE FUCKING WARS though.

      Yeah, and last month’s Reader’s Digest says… WHO CARES!! I don’t care what the bible says. Some old book written by Catholics in the 11 – 1200s has no merit in today’s world affairs. Somebody wrote a story about a slaughter made “in the name of god”. BFD. In fact, sounds awful similar to the “feel good book of the century” of the people we’re supposedly “fighting” over there. Christianity, Islam, they’re all the same. Same story, different characters.

      of course, the Old Testament is just a history book

      Good, you finally understand that!! 😀

  11. I am not getting into an argument with you about the Old Testament. Suffice it to say that Jesus wouldn’t approve of “slaughter talk”. Everything he preached goes against THAT idea.

  12. polarbear20 says:

    Wow Hybrid, your post is still the “top post” at our new site. 😀

    • HybridTalk says:

      Interesting. I have been away for training and came back to many emails. Looks like our new site is getting some exercise. Good work PolarCzar.

  13. Princess says:

    you are correct girly, jesus DID teach the exact opposite of the “slaughter” mindset.
    but the old testament is a different story entirely.
    and sadly, all the chit chat in the world will not cure the problem of the terrorists. and PB? do you really believe that crap about how some terrorist CANT enter our country through Mexico? are you really THAT naive? PLEASE!
    and your “minority” line about drug thugs……………PROVE it! where did you get THAT info?

    every BIT of this MUSLIM TERRORIST BALONEY points right back to the Old Testament………….and it wraps around the Jews & Isreal.

  14. Princess says:

    The only “problems” with Mexico are the people entering, who are usually poor migrant workers even if that WERE true, these people are not OUR problem.
    we already have enough of our OWN poor people.

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