So I found a little political humor before I have to head out on what is sure to be a long-dismal day. Not because it is independence day and I am some freedom-hating nazi but because I don’t get to shoot off fireworks with my father like I usually do, instead I get to spend the day driving.
Here at the secret underground headquarters of CTDEGAAATHIAST (committee to destroy everything good about America and turn her into a socialist tyranny), we’re disappointed. We’re facing the realization that President Obama is too ineffective to bring about the socialist revolution, and that our effort to fake his birth certificate and his accent were a waste.
We know Conservatives think that if the country makes any left-ward progress, such as electing a President who is not a Republican, it’s transformation into a Cuba-like state is inevitable, probably within weeks. But it just isn’t that easy.
Just the other day, I tried in vain to find a government-run grocery store. When I eventually gave up and settled for a privately-owned, corporate grocery store, I could not find a single, bland product produced by the Ministry of Work’s collective farms. I was forced to choose from the myriad of options peddled by America’s agricultural mega-corporations. Later that same day, I decided to take my child to the movies, but did I find one film produced by the Ministry of Information? No. Worse, I doubt such a ministry even exists. I won’t even talk about my inability to locate a physician employed by the Ministry of Health.