After President Obama’s policies were repudiated by the American people the president held a news conference. “I don’t think you can blame my policies for the mid-term election losses. After all, that would be like disagreeing with me, and you, ha, you don’t want to be on my enemies list. Also, when I called those Americans who disagreed with me ‘enemies’ I meant it in the most complementary way. Like keeping your enemies close, I love Americans who don’t like me. That is why I have instructed the IRS to track down those Americans, so I can give them something special we like to call, ‘and audit’.
“Now for you racist Obama haters, if you think I hated America before, watch what I do the next couple of years. I really hate you now after the mid-term embarrassment, and if the debt I racked up on stimulus doesn’t destroy the economy then my plans for next year will. I and my gang are all going on a trip across the planet. We will apologize to world dignitaries, and ask to use their golf courses for a week. We’ll buy out the most expensive hotels, and restaurants and it will cost the American taxpayer $200 million a day and I plan to be gone the rest of this year through June 2011.
“Now, you republicans, I want you to know that you still belong in the back of the car. Second, the American people elected you to help me bring my plan of destruction of the economy to fruition. So, get in line, and do what I tell you to do. You work for me, and the Unions. Do what I tell you to do and I won’t blame you too much for the problems I enact because of my Big Government policies. I’m gonna blame you, but I won’t blame more than necessary to get reelected in 2012.
“So let’s get together, and compromise, which means you do what I want. Then the ignoramuses who elected you rubes will give us all a second chance. He can Hope they don’t Change… I have my pals in the media working on that, even as we meet. Thanks, and Allah bless the Middle East, and all my future vacation spots.”