The New Wisconsin Public School class outline for Conflict Resolution.
Students, when a conflict develops you should follow these guidelines.
(1) Contact the national Union Thugs to bring in some muscle. Power is everything, even if your position in the conflict is not correct. Might means Right.
(2) If a vote is required, flee the state as quickly as possible. Make every effort to charge the expenses of your cowardice on the people who pay your salary.
(3) Shout slogans like “Freedom” or “People Now” or “GOP is DOA”. This strategy will confuse those trying to pay attention to the actual facts of the conflict, and paint your opponent as some communist (not that there is anything wrong with Communists) NAZI (not that there is anything wrong with Nazis) anti-American Capitalist.
(4) If you have a job, take an unlimited sick leave. Your employers won’t mind paying you for not working, I mean, have they complained yet about your lack of work? If you need a doctor’s note to excuse you, we have many options you can consider. Your time is valuable and should be paid under any and all circumstances, even if you are not doing the work you were hired to do (as if this is something new…)
(5) Should the conflict escalate, draw some blood from your opponent. After all, they deserve it for not giving you everything you want at their expense. Those people are so selfish and only think of themselves. Hit them a couple of times, feel better, and then demand all of your demands, un I mean views, be accepted without compromise.